Tend and Keep

My eyes are  still adjusting to the new seasonal reality, to landscapes that were first leached of color and then stripped of coverings. It seems just a tad bit indecent, really -  I look outside and am startled to see the brash shape of the land and trees, like someone has taken off all their clothes unexpectedly. Whoa, what's going on here?  and Do I really need to see all that? We 've put away the garden hoses and gotten out all the hats and mittens. The wind whistles through the back door, the warmth of the oven is welcome, and we light candles at dinnertime against the dark outside. The tea kettle rarely gets a break as we try to keep our chins up against the reality of a cold front moving in. And now, here comes a holiday that nudges us to fight back against the melancholy that grey days and early darkness can bring: Thanksgiving. We think of family, of good food, of gathering together and celebrating. Soon, relatives and friends will come through the door laden wit...

While reading this week, I came across an ancient Latin phrase that called to me: otium sanctum.  Translated as "holy leisure," this phrase seeks to encapsulate a balanced life centered in peace, in which all daily work is done with an openness to and acknowledgement of the presence of God. Sounds nice, doesn't it? My kids have taken to writing a daily newspaper, wherein each family member gets their own column, updating on the goings-on and status of our household. My most recent update opened with, "We think mom is stressed," followed by what I sincerely hope was an ill-judged, hyperbolic attempt at humor, "LIVES AT RISK!" Yet, I admit that they were probably on to something. I write this from my office, which currently looks like chaos in physical form, with piles of scribbled lists peeking out from under papers to be graded, various textbooks open to pages that were important at one time for some reason, and numerous half-empty drink containers. Th...

If I had to write a three-point sermon about why August is wonderful, it would go like this: sunflowers, swimming, sweet corn.  In August, especially the beginning, summer feels like it will last forever; we all get complacent and think that fall will never come... ... but then, I spot the first aster blooms and a sprinkling of yellow leaves on the cottonwood tree, and responsibilities that were tiny on the horizon suddenly loom larger and then are here. The garden becomes a neglected jungle as we adjust to new priorities, and our dog gives us sad eyes as we pack up each morning for a day away from home. Time is regimented into strict daily and weekly rhythms instead of the day-by-day flow we had enjoyed. The transition is not easy. We are tired. In the spring, our life seems to explode outwards as the weather warms. We spend more time outside and pick up projects that we had left behind or dreamed of all winter. During the summer, we roam and explore and work and play in an even w...

I paused in my battle with the weeds, stood up slowly, and critically surveyed the jungle that my vegetable garden has become over the last few weeks, and had the thought that all gardeners have at some point in the year: Is it worth it? I mean, I could just go to the store and buy food instead of attempting to grow it, and I almost certainly wouldn't be out much, money-wise...  and I wouldn't have sweat dripping off my nose as I practically stand on my head while searching for ripe tomatoes, trying to get to them before the chickens do. Is it worth it? In economics, worth = benefit - cost . So the question I was really asking, standing in the garden, is this: is the benefit of growing my own tomatoes greater than the cost? If we are considering factors beyond monetary value, and I think that is a good thing to do, then we can list many things in the benefit column of this equation, including, of course, the superior taste and quality of a home-grown tomato compared to one boug...

The garden is a great place for life lessons: delayed gratification, stick-to-it-iveness, hard work. Gardeners are, by nature, future-minded: thinking ahead to the next week, the next season, the next years, believing that hard work now will yield fruit and beauty in the future. Sometimes it is hard to pause and take stock, to look around and appreciate everything that's been accomplished and how far you've come. Instead, we make mental to-do lists of undone tasks and notes about what to do better next time. But, we all know how important it is to celebrate milestones, to appreciate work well done, to say "congratulations" to others or even to yourself.  Sometimes life, like work in the garden, just keeps rolling along into the next season without a natural stopping point to mark a transition. When you are working hard - at life or in the garden - perhaps pulling weeds down a row of tiny seedlings, and maybe everything starts to get caked in dirt and sweat runs down i...

On my to-do list for today is the aspirational task... "write something."  So here I am. It's a busy time in academia, the sprint to the finish line at the end of the spring semester.  There are tests to write, tests to grade, daily assignments to brainstorm and final projects to draft and explain and guide students through. There are advising meetings, where students are thinking ahead to next semester and next year and the rest of life, asking big and small questions that deserve answers. My own kids are racing around outside after school and tracking mud through the house and resisting bedtimes because IT'S STILL LIGHT OUT, MOM! At a conference for women in engineering I was lucky to attend recently, there were so many successful women talking about their careers and work and climbing that ladder. There was a time for questions at the end of each talk, and every single time, some form of the age-old question was asked... What does your work/life balance look like? ...

Here is something I want to remember: having babies and toddlers is hard. (Duh, I know.) But, I am on the tail end of those years, and I have noticed that sometimes, it seems as though others have forgotten the reality of life while parenting little ones. So, let me go down memory lane... The most difficult things, for me, were the constancy  and the unpredictability of needs. Something as simple as taking a shower had to be planned, so that someone else could take over for a few minutes. Tasks that were started early in the day might stay undone indefinitely, because of the rise of more pressing items. Children require constant attention; if left unattended for even a minute, they might put something dangerous in their mouths, fall down the stairs, or lash out and hit their siblings. Everything is interrupted: conversations with other adults, reading a book, household tasks, sleep.  Well, you might be thinking, what about naptime? What about the evenings or early mornings? Su...